Judgements!


Bienvenido (Welcome)!

I found this quote on my memories in Facebook today:

Practice nonjudgmental awareness of your life so you can save your loved ones from the cruelty of your own impossible standards and your hard-hearted disappointment. Practice greater faith and lesser blame?
                                                                                                          - Karen Maezan Miller

I don't like when others judge me especially when they haven't really taken time to know me! I also don't like when I judge myself or others, because that takes me directly from my higher self!                                                                       - Gina Rizzolo-Epstein, 2.26.13

The quote by Karen Maezan Miller got me. Do I do this? My own impossible standards of myself and others. Wow! Well, I really don't consider myself a judgmental person. Of course that's total bullshit! Yes, I judge people in my life and myself. I mean we all do to some degree. When I was younger, the train of thought was that every one had it together but me. Therefore, I judged myself for not being like everybody else. What I mean by that is I didn't feel whole and complete with who I was. My judgment of others was that they were better than me. Except those I chose to critique on the subway every morning to work!

My quote was directly under the Miller quote. I am proud of my own insight in this quote. This first part of the quote was probably directed at Jesse's kids at the time. It also goes to the label put on people with mental illness. That really pisses me off!

Now the second part speaks to how hard I am on myself. Sometimes I am my worst enemy and it isn't just when I am manic or depressed. It's all the time. I have successfully recreated my life several times. No, not perfectly; but whatever I have done, works. The roads I have traveled have been paved with a hovering of self-judgment and critiquing of my every move. The worst is when I have accomplished what I set out to do. I don't even acknowledge all my effort or have a sense of pride about it. That's not true about my daughter, but of course that was all God! 

Yes, I have embraced myself and truly like the woman I've become. I can thank therapy  and a lot of different programs for that. My realization, today, is that when I am in the process of recreating myself, the banter of judgements arise. Right now, I feel the judgements and am working on letting my recreating go forward whether they are there or not.

Now, unfortunately we all judge others. Some do it more than others. My quote talks about how, when I judge myself or others, it takes me from my higher self. A very true statement. I've come to the realization that people are who they are and it's up to me how much I let them invade my space. Judging them doesn't improve the situation or my attitude about it. 


Love and Peace to You All!

Ciao
Gina


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