Here I am back typing to all of you after my beautiful vacation in Playa Del Carmen, Mexico. Yes, I miss being there. It was so calming....

Yes, Costa Rica is so much more calm than New York City and it does make a difference. What I learned for myself this brief holiday is that I need to seek the calmness within myself more. Having bipolar disorder, it is hard to find calm inside oneself...but not impossible.

At the Grand Hyatt where we were staying, they had a lap pool that was situated in the Spa. At first I found this strange, especially since it cost $40 a day to use the pool and spa.  I cannot tell you what they put in this lap pool, but it felt so refreshing and calming all at once. It was just about the size of an olympic pool. As I swam each lap, the more and more I felt one with the water and myself. I couldn't get enough of it and had a hard time stopping.

I enjoyed the steam room many times and the plunge pool. The environment was conducive to taking good care of yourself in a loving peaceful way. I realized I don't always do that. I am always pushing myself in not a very constructive way. There is always so much pressure. Look, I've come a long way, but there is no gentle kindness or peace in the daily routine with myself. I'm always rushing! Even here in Costa Rica!

Now, I am not going to blame that on the fact I have a 4 year old daughter, because I am responsible for me. A part of what I need is to be is a good example for her.  Of course I put pressure on myself about that too! Yikes!!!

What I took away from this trip is that my approach has to be more loving and kinder to myself. That when working towards my goals, it's not about beating myself up to get there. I can move forward with love, compassion and determination.

Well, there are the goods today!

Love and Peace to You All!