Where Did the Time Go?


Yesterday, Jess and I watched the movie "Crossing Delancey." I have always loved this film and especially the fact that a woman directed it. Delancey street is a romantic reminder of our early days of dating. Jesse lived on the Lower East side in New York and Delancey Street was his neighborhood.

This film came out in 1988. I had already lived in NYC for 4 years. In that time I had moved 4 times, had 3 jobs and was raped.  I was 25. When I watched this movie I started to think back on my life. Here I am 55 and what has happened to the time?!

In late 1989 my self discovery journey began and still continues. In 1990 I ended up in a 12 step program of Overeater's Anonymous. It was there that I admitted to being a bulimic and to my emotional eating. Little did I know that I would be awarded the opportunity to be taken through the steps as the original AA had done. I had the most spiritual experience and was a part of great group of people on the same journey. I felt so loved and supported. Those were blissful days, but I confronted my demons as well.

By 1995 I was working for the designer Tommy Hilfiger. I was so excited when I got the job, but that was deflated very quickly. I learned right away that there is nothing exciting to me about fashion because the work environment is just plain nasty, not just at Tommy, but everywhere.

From 1995 to 2001 I was involved with Landmark Education...Personal Development at it's best! There I gained self confidence and learned that I am a cause in the matters of my life! That the possibilities are endless and my conversations about myself could be transformed!

In 1999 along with 4 friends from the Landmark Team Management program, I helped to produce (and I starred in!) our own off off broadway show. I also created the possibility for myself as a college student.

In June of 2000, I lost my first love, my most awesome friend and beloved father. A shock! I had to pick up my boot straps and move forward. I entered the New School in the fall of 2002. When I graduated in 2004 with honors, I accepted my diploma knowing I was bipolar. Here began a new road. Though it wouldn't be one I traveled by myself.

In the fall of 2004, I entered grad school. Again this degree was to enhance the film degree I just received.  One of my first classes was Film Theory and in it was one of the kindest and most beautiful souls I've ever met. Thank God! That today I call him my husband.

We moved in together April 1, 2005. Married at the Central Park Boathouse on May 25th 2008.On October 14th 2013 I gave birth to our most beautiful daughter Myah.

Myah is 5 now. And I keep thinking how fast these years have gone! It seems that she was just a baby and my Mom was holding her. Tragically my Mother and Aunt were killed in a car accident on December 12th 2015. Myah was 2 at the time.

It all goes fast! I've come to appreciate the moments! Now, I'm not looking forward to getting old. Yes, Myah was born 10 days shy of my 50th birthday and it's been one big flash to 55.

I still have goals and a daughter to raise...a husband to love more each day and many lives to touch! My conversation about old age is that there isn't an end to growing and loving! Embrace life at all times and even when it feels shitty...ESPECIALLY THEN because that's when the breakthroughs come!

Love and Peace!