Melancholy Day


Today I am feeling what I call melancholy. I am sad but not sure exactly why? There is so much in the world right now to feel really sad about. I guess it's many things all bundled up in one. 

Some days I miss my life in New York but that life is gone forever. Even if we went back, it would not be the same. I guess because nothing is the same. It never will be. Maybe for some of us, this will be ok and for others not? 

Right now I cannot go back to my country, the United States, because of the blatant racism against Jews. People aren't talking about the anti-semitism that is growing. It's why we are here in Costa Rica. 

Today, I was thinking about Jews who escaped Nazi Germany before the war. Wondering if they felt like we do? Helpless, horrified, angry and scared for our loved ones. Sometimes it feels like we are in a 1940's war movie. And we are at war with each other. That is what makes it all so painful.

When did hate become popular? Why do we have to remind ourselves and others to be kind! I saw video online of a white man with a "Black Lives Matter" sign standing in a place where a lot of KKK people live. The meanest things were said to this man.  Is it because they think the value of a person is based on their skin color?  Think about that?!! Then think about why Breoona Taylor's killers are still free!

It seems like there is so much inequity in the world and I think many of us are tired of it. Right now I am tired of this pandemic. Numbers are increasing almost everywhere. Here in Costa Rica the numbers were low for so long, but now they are steadily increasing. 

Some days it all get's to me and other days I enjoy the pleasure of just living in the moment. Maybe the gift of this pandemic is just that:  "enjoying the pleasure of just living in the moment." That's really what we have anyway. 

Uncertainty is a constant and maybe God is trying to remind us of that. To me it seems futile to harbor hate and anger when so much is being lost. To bury those whose color is different, whose religion is not like yours and to hold down the power of the feminine is to me only accepting a small part of God -- not the wholeness or holiness that has been given to us with such unconditional love. 

May we come out of this embracing life's uncertainty with the wholeness of a love we cannot sometimes completely understand, but trust with all our hearts.

Love & Peace