When Covid Hits Home
Well, I really am in a place of deep gratitude. You see, on Wednesday Aug 31st at 6:34 am we found out my 74yr old husband had Covid. He had been fully vaccinated and I had my first shot. We were quarantined for 10 days with our 7yr old daughter.
Even though you read all the posts on FB from friends who have had Covid and you read things in the news or other social media, there is nothing that really prepares you for this. I had a feeling of total helplessness and fear that was intertwined in my being for most of the ten days. I remember coming into my office and saying to God "Not now! I am not ready for this!!
Well ready or not, I had to deal with it and in a way that my daughter could feel some sense of security. My anxiety & PTSD buttons were pushed! I also kept saying "I have mental illnesses so why am I having to do all this??" I did it though and God had me the whole way.
My conversations with God from my daughter's bed at night were probably the most deep and meaningful ones I've had in a long time. The thing is I felt myself surrendering more and more to the trust of this universal love. It was scary as hell, but also there was this prevailing feeling that no matter what we would be okay.
I know what it's like to have a single moment change your whole life. So, if that was going to happen again this time, I was just going with it instead my usual kicking and screaming to get through this.
Conversations with Myah were the hardest. She cried when we told her. To see fear in her eyes broke my heart. We slept together in her room with our masks on. I know it seems extreme, but I knew I had to have had it and she needed me. It was sweet sleeping next to this beautiful child. I prayed that this would not effect her but I know some of it will. There were a couple of nights where she just held on tight to me all night.
Turns out Jess had a bad cold for 5 days and one day feeling weak. I had headache for a day or so and a day where I was tired and listless. Myah had no symptoms. Can you see why I feel the gratitude of God's Grace over my family?! Wow!
God and I have weathered many storms together and no matter what, I land on my feet with my faith even stronger.
The world we live in now is really divided and there seems to be no bridge for us to get together. A pandemic is scary and life will never go back the way it was. Maybe that's a good thing. Awareness is a real important step in Recovery. Actually it's the first step so maybe Acceptance is coming.
I send you all the love and peace! Keep the Faith!