Letting go of things, people and ideas can be difficult but necessary at times.
Recently, I let go of a relationship that was with someone I considered one of the closest people in my life. It was hard and I feel the loss every day. We were both effected by the car accident that killed my Mother and Aunt. Every one deals with things differently. I felt like I was being pushed away and was the brunt of a lot of anger. I have PTSD and anxiety issues, but I no longer take abuse from anyone. If you want to sit down and talk things out, I'm there. You only get respect when you give it. I do hope that this person and I see our way back into each other's lives, but for now it is what is.
Letting go is hard. I've let go of a lot of people in my life, because my self esteem has grown over the years. I've also let go of old stories that I played over and over in my head for years. My stories are always the hardest because they kept me where I was and now the new stories will take me to a new and sometimes an uncomfortable place...making me feel vulnerable.
The question lately has been where do I want to go with my creativity at this point in my life? What I am I willing to do? Of course I know what to do! That is to dismantle stories in my head about why I hide the creative side of myself.....stories I've had since I was a kid. You have to understand this is not easy. I have to be ready and not let this big balloon of fear I've created stop me. This is what I am up against right now. I know the next step is to write my stories down and create new ones filled with love, joy, freedom and compassion.
Knowing what to do doesn't always make it so. Having support for me has always been a big plus. I now have fewer friends & family in my life, but the quality of people in my life is much higher.
My direction is unclear, but the journey has started...even though it totally doesn't look the way I want it to!
Love and Peace!