2024......

 Hola,

As the year winds down and reflection sets in, I am somewhat saddened at not just the state of the world but my own lack of happiness and the state of my spirit. it hasn't been an easy year at all. 

I decided 2024 would be the year I surrendered to God the way I did 33yrs ago in Over Eater'sAnonymous. 

Surrender and let go of how things should look and delve into what purpose I can serve my higher power. What I should have remembered was that my desperation back then was from a young 27yr old woman lonely and hopeless. My desperation at 60 is to feel fulfilled into doing something positive in the world and being able to support my family financially. Very different places, but both times impatient!

I was offered an opportunity this year to get my EMBA via online with a scholarship. I believe the ease in which this came forth is from God, so I started in August. I committed 2024 to any opportunity that came my way. I've looked at so many different things that have come my way. Some just scams; other's costly; and some worth checking out.

Giving up control when having an addictive personality is quite hard but the thing about God is that he is always there to guide you and bring forth gifts that you never expected. Thirty-three years ago when on my knees going through the 12 steps, I never imagined loving myself, embracing who I am, and enjoying being Gina. 

Now, I am on my knees again, leaving myself vulnerable to the world and God's will once again. What awaits me I am not sure. This uncertainty has always been hard for me, but at 61 its beyond rough. 

There are people and things I know I must let go of to move forward.  It's so hard. Not just the letting go, but to know what to let go of? Yes, procrastination is one of them! and my fear of not getting where I need to go. That's actually in God's hands and all I have to do is the work. 

I had a tarot card reading by my friend Cheryl who is a psychic  She said good things are coming that means change. Good or bad change I've never been good at. Even though I am desperate for change!

Yes, I live in paradise and I love it but it's fair to say I'm a bit bored here and miss my beloved NYC!

So, in 2025 I am still surrendering to God, but from my wild heart rather than my weary hurt.

Love and Peace 

Gina❤️