Being Present

 

Hola,

Yesterday, I was home alone and the sun was going down when I decided to take a swim in the pool. The water was cold and refreshing. I was enjoying  the whole experience, the lighting of the sky, my jungle backyard and the way my body felt moving through the water. As I was having this lovely experience, I was reminded that years ago I would not have been able to be present in a moment like this.

I remember early on in therapy talking about what it meant to be present. Because as an addict, I didn't want to be present at all. Addiction is about avoiding presence in your life period, because everything is too painful. 

In therapy I was dealing with my pain pretty regularly when my therapist talked about being present in a moment without pain. He suggested taking time to be present out into my life.

So, I just happened to be at my parent's house while my niece and nephew were in town visiting. They were both still little and my Mom had bought them a little swimming pool for their backyard. I was in the kitchen and I could hear them laughing and giggling together. It was then I decided to do that being present in the moment thing. I went upstairs got my bathing suit on and went out back to them playing in the pool. I jumped right in and started playing with them and in that moment all I was present to was their joy and playfulness. We had so much fun splashing around in the pool and laughing.  It felt so good to me at the time for I was in the present moment with them.

I think of all the years before where I lost moments to be present like that. A part of my growth is to become present in both painful and beautiful moments like my swim. 

We have to be present for all life, because if we don't, we may miss opportunities to grow from our pain and let the beautiful things in life pass us by.

Love and Peace

Ginamarie