Feeling Overwhelmed!

 

Hola,

It's been hard for me to write today because the last few days I've been overwhelmed. Usually, I am hit with an insight or a single topic to write but there are so many things swirling around my head right now.

Here's a thought: what if I just talk about feeling overwhelmed and what I am doing to stay as focused as possible.

My overwhelm comes from the outer world and my own inner world. The news is just too painful to endure. All the cruelty gets to be too much for me to bare most times but this year really takes the cake! At least that is how I feel.  

Change has always been difficult for me even if it's good change. Right now we are looking to relocate next year because we need to live near better healthcare and I want to Myah's high school years to in a place where  there are more cultural  opportunities, where she can readily explore the world of music, art, theater, and dance. 

This has become very stressful for Jess and I. Being older really makes it harder to uproot but we don't feel medically safe here in Guanacaste. Hospitals here in this area aren't fully equipped and neither are the ambulances. Jess just turned 79 last week and I am 62. So, we have to really think about this. Then, we have some issues with school for the next year that will hopefully resolve themselves.

And, I am finally getting off medication that hasn't been serving me for sometime, even though it suppresses my anxiety to some extent.  This medication holds me back in that I have a hard time in the mornings waking and moving. With the new medication, I am already feeling more awake and focused. I am also trying to get used to the new energy.

So, today when I woke up feeling overwhelmed, I must admit I wanted to stay in bed at first! Then, I asked myself if I wanted the overwhelm to rule me today? Or did I want to accomplish a few things today? The inner turmoil is real and I don't want to make it sound like it's easy to choose to accomplish a few things. I've had some looking at my phone and reading celebrity gossip along the way, but I am still out to get things rolling today.

Breathing is helpful and talking to others makes me feel not so alone and more comfortable in my skin. After I am done here in the office I've planned a nice long swim. Exercise is really important all the time but when I am in overwhelm, it calms me down and keeps me focused and grounded.

Thank you, for letting me share my overwhelm!

Peace and Love!

Ginamarie